I was thinking about how people use the phrase “I’m marrying my best friend” and how much I can’t relate to it. Don’t get me wrong, there is no one I’d rather spend time with than Amanda, but she certainly isn’t my best friend. When we first started dating, it was always dating. It took us months to have a movie date and when we did we spent the whole movie macking it, etc. I’ve felt about her from the beginning the way I never could about a best friend. We didn’t meet as friends. When I moved and we planned to be just friends I told her I loved her still and kissed her whenever I saw her, even though it hurt.
I think “I’m marrying my best friend” is a statement for straight people. The reaction to the phrase is supposed to be, “Oh wow, you really get along with this opposite gendered person on non-sexual levels.” To generalize, it’s easier for gay ladies to fall into the besties-who-kiss trap. I’m thinking of the first season of The Real L Word— those two similar-looking middle-aged women who were concerned mostly with installing chaneliers in their mansion— the brunette one said, “Being a lesbian is fabulous. It’s having a best friend you can also have sex with.” It made me so sad. Like these two Real Housewives of Orange County, after being ladies who lunch go home and stumble into bed because they’re such good friends? Maybe I’m being mean but I can’t be the only one who believes in compartmentalization.
I’m not marrying my best friend. I’m marrying someone who knows me inside and out, someone whom I love so much to rearranges everything I know about myself and the world. I love her in a way that best friend doesn’t even begin to cover.
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